Self-Doubt

When my friends, some of whom are just now starting to have their first children, ask me what parenting books, etc. I recommend, my answer is always "none". I don't own any parenting books, and I don't plan on purchasing any anytime soon. The reason for this is simple, I think parenting books can have the effect of causing parents to doubt themselves more than they already do. I don't need a book to make me question my judgement as a parent, I can do that all on my own, without any help from the "experts".

We all want so much to do right by our children, and that's admirable, but other than the safety basics, there's no hard and fast rule for the best way of parenting any individual child, of getting any individual child to sleep well, or be a good eater. I think we all have our "preferred methods" of doing things, but our babies may not be on the same page, and if they don't respond as expected, we start to doubt that we're doing the right thing, and that self-doubt doesn't do you or the baby any good.

I also think that making mistakes, and learning from those mistakes, makes us better parents, and teaches our children that it's okay to screw up, and that making a mistake isn't the end of the world. This is a valuable lesson for kids, and for adults. I have made my share of mistakes, and I'm sure I'll make more in the years to come. My kids don't seem to have suffered, and I've learned not to let them cause me to doubt my parenting abilities as a whole.